I Hate Company Family Days
I got very mad at a situation, or I should say, a colleague yesterday. I am sure I am not the only one, but our reasons may differ.
A colleague from the operations side asked the boss in the meeting if the company will be organizing a family day. He said it was a request from his staff. He always says that. Whenever there is a celebration - Chinese New Year, Hari Raya, Gawai, Christmas - he will be the one asking to have a party because "the operations staff wants it". We are really beginning to question if it is he who wants it. The most appalling thing is that he complains that he is always on the organizing committee. Excuse me, but this came out of your own mouth.
I am maaaaad about his proposal because it is stirring up still waters. None of us brought the matter up because most of us did not enjoy it. And I, for one, is always dragged into the organizing committee because of the nature of my designation.
If it is a voluntary event/committee, fine. I will not volunteer for it. But as it is, we are always forced into the committee and everyone does things half-heartedly. For people without families on the committee, it is really just us becoming kulis for the happiness of others. Such a waste of my time.
I may sound horrible for not wanting to sacrifice myself to create happiness for others, but I am not a normal person. I am a person struggling with infertility. What makes it different for me is that forcing me to organize and attend a family day is like asking a final stage cancer patient plan for a future or retirement.
IT IS A PAINFUL REMINDER OF MY FAILURE AND MY DISABILITY.
And yet all I can do is smile and swallow my fury because that is what is expected of me. Most people just do not understand the struggles of people like us. To their eyes, we are just horrible selfish bitches. Weirdos (in the same way people discriminate against spinsters!). Sometimes I cannot help but wish it upon them just so they'd GET. IT.
Additionally, I don't understand the concept of family day for people without families. For people who are not married, they cannot bring their partners (boyfriends/girlfriends) or their siblings/parents. For people who are childless, almost all the activities are catered for kids and families. Seriously, is this not just a waste of my time? It is basically an event created only for families with kids only. If I say it, they will say I'm behaving very selfishly (oh haha the irony) BECAUSE I AM NOT A PARENT. No, it's not a personal attack.
Being on the committee is a pain in itself. They are always thinking about activities for kids, safety of kids (this I understand, but should it not be the responsibilities of the parents as well?), food for the kids. At the meeting, my boss even jokingly suggested I hold dance sessions for the kids. *rolls eyes* I will not do something that is subjected to the criticism of parents. I have previously volunteered to organize something (when I first joined the company), and in the end, instead of enjoying it and accepting it, they are giving all sorts of suggestions. Like why don't you do this, why don't you do that, you should do this, you should do that. But when the time comes that they take up the organization, few if not none of them wants to lift a finger.
To me, a real family day should be spent at home with your own family, not going somewhere to SHOW OFF your family. And here we are, being forced to waste a day which could have really been precious family day, doing something meaningful to us as a family. Instead, we are doing something for other's pleasures.
A colleague from the operations side asked the boss in the meeting if the company will be organizing a family day. He said it was a request from his staff. He always says that. Whenever there is a celebration - Chinese New Year, Hari Raya, Gawai, Christmas - he will be the one asking to have a party because "the operations staff wants it". We are really beginning to question if it is he who wants it. The most appalling thing is that he complains that he is always on the organizing committee. Excuse me, but this came out of your own mouth.
I am maaaaad about his proposal because it is stirring up still waters. None of us brought the matter up because most of us did not enjoy it. And I, for one, is always dragged into the organizing committee because of the nature of my designation.
If it is a voluntary event/committee, fine. I will not volunteer for it. But as it is, we are always forced into the committee and everyone does things half-heartedly. For people without families on the committee, it is really just us becoming kulis for the happiness of others. Such a waste of my time.
I may sound horrible for not wanting to sacrifice myself to create happiness for others, but I am not a normal person. I am a person struggling with infertility. What makes it different for me is that forcing me to organize and attend a family day is like asking a final stage cancer patient plan for a future or retirement.
IT IS A PAINFUL REMINDER OF MY FAILURE AND MY DISABILITY.
And yet all I can do is smile and swallow my fury because that is what is expected of me. Most people just do not understand the struggles of people like us. To their eyes, we are just horrible selfish bitches. Weirdos (in the same way people discriminate against spinsters!). Sometimes I cannot help but wish it upon them just so they'd GET. IT.
Additionally, I don't understand the concept of family day for people without families. For people who are not married, they cannot bring their partners (boyfriends/girlfriends) or their siblings/parents. For people who are childless, almost all the activities are catered for kids and families. Seriously, is this not just a waste of my time? It is basically an event created only for families with kids only. If I say it, they will say I'm behaving very selfishly (oh haha the irony) BECAUSE I AM NOT A PARENT. No, it's not a personal attack.
Being on the committee is a pain in itself. They are always thinking about activities for kids, safety of kids (this I understand, but should it not be the responsibilities of the parents as well?), food for the kids. At the meeting, my boss even jokingly suggested I hold dance sessions for the kids. *rolls eyes* I will not do something that is subjected to the criticism of parents. I have previously volunteered to organize something (when I first joined the company), and in the end, instead of enjoying it and accepting it, they are giving all sorts of suggestions. Like why don't you do this, why don't you do that, you should do this, you should do that. But when the time comes that they take up the organization, few if not none of them wants to lift a finger.
To me, a real family day should be spent at home with your own family, not going somewhere to SHOW OFF your family. And here we are, being forced to waste a day which could have really been precious family day, doing something meaningful to us as a family. Instead, we are doing something for other's pleasures.
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